Congratulations! You have achieved Preferred Parent status. This enables you to collect points that you can most definitely not redeem for fun activities like going out to dinner, going to the cinema, a haircut, a pedicure, or reading a book in peace.

Here are some more great ways to earn even more Preferred Parent Points:

  • Being the only one who can make me go back to sleep in the middle of the night, especially while you’re the only one who can make my sister go back to sleep too, simultaneously, in another room.
  • Being the only one who knows where my stripey blue Spider-Man gloves are, even though I was just wearing them five minutes ago.
  • Being the only one who can pour my bowl of cereal to just the right level.
  • Being the one with the boobs.
  • Somehow never being deemed the yucky one, even though you also quite often put me in my room for endangering my sister.
  • Being the one who always has to come to the bathroom with me, especially if you’ve just sat down to eat your dinner. I have to do it all myself, at half the speed of a glacier, but you must stay and watch and preferably applaud at intervals.
  • Being the only one whose kisses are scientifically proven to make it better.

Share your point-gathering tips with yuckier parents – but remember, there can only be one Preferred Parent! We’ll do our best to make sure it’s always you!

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