So what happens nowadays (by which I mean this week, probably; my memory is short and constantly renewing itself) is that every few mornings I put on my sexxay workout gear and I flit around the house doing the normal before-school morning things like eating cereal and making Dash’s lunch and nagging people to get dressed and checking my Facebook in case something important happened on the Internet overnight. The children are slightly confused: “What are those jeans?” Dash asked me this morning.

And then I bring Mabel to school and then sometimes I actually do something like exercise and other times I have what my cousins taught me is called a French workout, when you dress for the gym but don’t go. And they should know, because they live in California where you have to at least pretend to go to the gym.

The something like exercise I’m tending towards at the moment is a 20-minute “extreme burn” pilates workout DVD. It doesn’t sound like much, especially when you realise that extreme burn is an extreme exaggeration (except for my abs, which, ouch), but it’s more than nothing and I think that’s the point.

I’ve also been known to take a bike ride or even just a brisk evening walk lately, since my Stupid Toe won’t let me run any more. (It’s much better. I don’t even notice it, unless I try to run half a mile or so, and then I start limping, which is unpleasant and makes me grumpy and despondent.) I loved the yoga class I went to a few times in the new year, but it takes too much of a chunk out of my brief, brief window of morning. By the time I’d got home and showered it was time to go straight back down and pick up Mabel, because she’s all done with formal education at 11.30 every morning. And formal education has about had it with her by then too.

The prospect of going to BlogHer bang smack in the middle of the summer is actually more of a motivator than the idea of the local swimming pool opening up at the end of this month. My swimsuit, after all, is stretchy, and I’ve basically got into the habit of switching off all my mortification circuits on entry, as a self-defence mechanism. Anyway, all the other people I run into there are similarly uncovered, and we’re mostly all imperfect one way or another.

But BlogHer is another story: I’ll be meeting a whole passel of new people, mostly women, all of us trying to make the best first impression possible but look like we didn’t have to try very hard because we always look this way. I won’t lie – it’s a scary notion. But in reality it will probably end up much like the swimming pool – we’re all imperfect, and we’ll all focus on the pretty, whether it’s someone else’s shoes or their necklace or their smile that lights up the room.

I’m really quite excited about BlogHer, you know. Apart from giving me a little more impetus to get fit(ter) and a rock solid excuse to buy some new clothes, I have a cool and lovely roomie whom I’m looking forward to getting to know a bit better, and for the first time since I’ve had children, I’m going to be doing something that’s just for me. For three whole days.

It’s a milestone of sorts. I don’t know exactly what I expect to get out of it – I’m not fired up about any particular conference session, though I may learn great things or hear great people at whatever ones I end up attending. I’m not dying to get spectacularly drunk at any of the parties (though it may happen). I’m just looking to expand my blogging network a bit, meet some new people who like the same sort of things I do, get some new readers, and – most of all – take a step towards establishing who I am when I’m not being someone’s mom.

It’s been a long time coming. It’s going to be good.

6 thoughts on “Exposition

  1. Jennifer Thorson

    Gracious, if you have to work out before you can go to BlogHer then it’s a very good thing I’m not going.

    But as you said, we see our own imperfections more clearly than we those of others, and it’s easier to see other people’s beauty than it is to see our own.

    1. (Not) Maud

      Nobody has to work out before going to BlogHer. I just figure anything that motivates me is good, and if it’s my own vanity/insecurity, then I’ll go with that.

      (Though I have to say that at this stage in my life I don’t hold much truck with insecurity. If you said BlogHer was tomorrow, I’d throw something in a suitcase and happily head off.)

  2. Jane Barry

    Oh wow I’m so excited for you and your’re making me excited for me too : ) What a great post, probably my favourite yet. You are going to have an amazing time. Can’t wait to hear all about it eek! Can I come?

  3. Justine Levine

    Actually, I found that there are so many people to meet at BlogHer that I focused less on appearances and more on what people had to say … but that said, you should feel confident, and happy to be in your skin. I wear black boots for that purpose. 😉

    HUZZAH that you are doing something for YOU, and *blush* for the shout-out!

    1. (Not) Maud

      You mean, that’s generally why you wear black boots, right? But you’re not planning to wear them in Chicago in July, I would suspect?

      Confident and comfortable is exactly the right attitude, I’d say.


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