I go to bed with my new lover. We lie forehead to forehead, whispering sweet nothings to each other. I gaze into his eyes, and he into mine, mirroring adoration, wondering how there could be a time when I didn’t know him.

Then it all goes wrong. There are shouts and harsh sounds, kicks and scrapes and pinches. He won’t lie still and just fall asleep beside me. I don’t want to be with him any more, I just want to close my eyes and slide into oblivion.

Thus it is when one is mother to a three-month old who doesn’t like to take his naps.