So, what else did I have to say? Lately during the wee hours and on please-fall-asleep walks, I’ve been thinking about, in no particular order:
The idea of getting a single (twin) or full mattress from Freecycle and putting it on the floor in the baby’s room so that I could lie down with him on nights when he wants to sleep but wakes every time I put him in his crib. We could use it for single guests and put it up against the wall to make room for the airbed if we have a couple staying. A bed would look better, but if it’s low to the ground I wouldn’t have to worry about him rolling off. There’s not really any downside to this, apart from acquiring more stuff (which I know we shouldn’t do but of course I love doing, but if it’s free, what the heck), so I think we probably should.
Something about men not feeling the whole life-changingness of having a baby the way women do. Probably sexist of me, but I’ll try to flesh it out a bit more and see if I can get the idea across.
The strange compulsion I feel to try to get pregnant again as soon as possible, and all the calculations I go through to figure out how soon we could legitimately start. Having a full night’s sleep and knowing where we’ll be living in two years’ time definitely figure into these.
The associated pleasant daydreams (night-daydreams, that is) about what to call said next baby.
The associated terror about the logistics of having two children.
Wondering how on earth I will reason with/bribe/convince the baby to do things he doesn’t want to do as he gets older and stronger and more (even more) mobile and I can’t just wrest the toothbrush out of his hand or wrangle the socks onto his feet. I have a feeling I’ll have to get very clever all of a sudden, or be miserable for a few years as I’m totally dominated by the will of my toddler. I keep wondering whether he’s going to get sense before or after he’s physically able to do all the dangerous things he’d like to do now. Probably after. My problem is that I thought babyproofing meant stopping a crawling baby from getting into things. I see now that that was only the tip of the iceberg. But there are only so many high shelves we can put things on.
Wondering what he’ll look like when he walks across the room unaided. He suddenly looked different when he stood up for the first time – I imagine this will be the same feeling of seeing my baby as I’ve never seen him before. Any day now – he can walk holding just one of my hands at this point, but his desire to rush headlong always ruins his balance. Slow and steady does not apply to my child.
That should keep me going for a few more posts.