The fuzzy happily not-knowing lasted until lunchtime the next day, when it turned into antsy paranoia and I couldn’t concentrate on anything until I had broken out my one remaining pregnancy test and acertained that I am not, in fact, pregnant. Even then, it wasn’t till my period properly arrived on Saturday that I really believed it.

I’ve never so truly not known what the outcome of a p-test will be before: other times I’ve taken them to calm me down when I knew rationally I couldn’t be, but my period just wouldn’t damn well arrive till I could stop stressing about it, or the one time it was positive when I knew it would be, it was just confirming what charting my temps had already told me. This time, I was pretty nervous. And then relieved, but then disbelieving. I am ambivalent about how ready I really am for this, but I still want it now, thank you. Anyway, all over for another month.

Monkey’s Converse arrived yesterday: so cute.

Flikr seems to be down. Not only can I not noodle around my own photos, I can’t even see the photos of Linda at All and Sundry ‘s new sprog. Woe.

I just ordered a pair of Converse online for Monkey. I am currently expecting a pair of online shoes for myself to arrive in the post. I may be getting addicted to this. But, but, free shipping. Cost you more not to. (Well yes, it would cost you more not to have free shipping. It would, perhaps, not cost me more to buy no shoes, but where’s the fun in that?)

Witter witter. Am I pregnant? There’s an infinitessimally tiny chance that I might be. I have a pregnancy test stashed away, but will wait till at least midweek to give it a whirl. My period’s only a day late, and it’s not like I was Ms. Regular Mc28daysipants before. But I like this not knowing and just pretending that maybe it was as easy as that. Though really I wanted a bit more time, too, so knowing in either direction would be, in a way, less fun than this current fuzzy state.